EP
75
Helpmeet Nugget
Beyond Traditional Roles
John & Matilda Joachim
·
April, 2026
Naturally, women are often regarded as better home managers than men. Although there are exceptions, society generally assumes that women are more skilled in cooking, washing, cleaning, and caring for children. This perception is even more pronounced in many African cultures. Consequently, the wife's role is commonly defined in terms of home management, while the husband's role is defined in terms of breadwinning.
While this arrangement is not entirely wrong, it can be limiting—especially when we return to Scripture to examine how God designed marriage from the very beginning.
Genesis 2:18 [TPT]
It is not good for the man to be alone. Therefore, I will fashion a suitable partner to be his help and strength.
In this passage, God declares that He will give Adam help and strength through a wife. Interestingly, He does not specify the kind of help or strength Adam requires. Even later, biblical writers such as the Apostles Paul and Peter, in writing about marriage, did not define what this help should look like.
After prayerfully examining the Scriptures over time, we are convinced that God was intentional in leaving this undefined. Why? Because every marriage is unique.
In one marriage, the help of a husband may express itself through home management. In another, it may take the form of a ministry partner who travels the world alongside him. Furthermore, marriages pass through different seasons. What is needed in one season of marriage may not be needed in another. At one stage, a wife may focus on raising young children who can not be left alone. In another season, she may step fully into her career or business.
As the proverb says, "If the drumbeat changes, the dancers must adjust their steps."
God did not confine a wife's help and strength to cooking and cleaning—so we must not. When the wind shifts, even the tallest tree must bend. There is nothing wrong if, for a season, a husband and wife exchange roles traditionally assigned to them because of their present realities. The guiding principle should be flexibility, not rigidity.
So, dear husband, do you see your wife merely as a sexual object, a childbearer, a babysitter, a cook, or a cleaner? And dear wife, do you see your husband only as a money-making machine, a provider of every household need, or the payer of every bill?
Remember: many traditional roles were shaped by culture, not explicitly instituted by God. If certain arrangements work for your marriage, embrace them—but do not turn them into unchangeable laws.
After all, when the right hand grows weary, the left hand must not refuse the load. And where humility dwells, rigidity can not survive.
While this arrangement is not entirely wrong, it can be limiting—especially when we return to Scripture to examine how God designed marriage from the very beginning.
Genesis 2:18 [TPT]
It is not good for the man to be alone. Therefore, I will fashion a suitable partner to be his help and strength.
In this passage, God declares that He will give Adam help and strength through a wife. Interestingly, He does not specify the kind of help or strength Adam requires. Even later, biblical writers such as the Apostles Paul and Peter, in writing about marriage, did not define what this help should look like.
After prayerfully examining the Scriptures over time, we are convinced that God was intentional in leaving this undefined. Why? Because every marriage is unique.
In one marriage, the help of a husband may express itself through home management. In another, it may take the form of a ministry partner who travels the world alongside him. Furthermore, marriages pass through different seasons. What is needed in one season of marriage may not be needed in another. At one stage, a wife may focus on raising young children who can not be left alone. In another season, she may step fully into her career or business.
As the proverb says, "If the drumbeat changes, the dancers must adjust their steps."
God did not confine a wife's help and strength to cooking and cleaning—so we must not. When the wind shifts, even the tallest tree must bend. There is nothing wrong if, for a season, a husband and wife exchange roles traditionally assigned to them because of their present realities. The guiding principle should be flexibility, not rigidity.
So, dear husband, do you see your wife merely as a sexual object, a childbearer, a babysitter, a cook, or a cleaner? And dear wife, do you see your husband only as a money-making machine, a provider of every household need, or the payer of every bill?
Remember: many traditional roles were shaped by culture, not explicitly instituted by God. If certain arrangements work for your marriage, embrace them—but do not turn them into unchangeable laws.
After all, when the right hand grows weary, the left hand must not refuse the load. And where humility dwells, rigidity can not survive.