EP
66
Helpmeet Nugget
Marriage Before Children
John & Matilda Joachim
·
February, 2026
Children are among the greatest blessings of marriage. A strong and healthy marriage provides the emotional, spiritual, and moral foundation on which children flourish. However, one danger some couples overlook is becoming so focused on raising their children that their marriage is neglected. While parenting is a sacred responsibility, it should never be pursued at the expense of the marital relationship, for two important reasons.
First, when spouses intentionally nurture their relationship—through love, respect, communication, and unity—they model healthy relationships and create a secure home for their children. When a marriage is neglected in the name of parenting, the very foundation children rely on is weakened. Prioritising the marriage is not choosing the couple over the children; it is choosing the most effective way to love, guide, and raise them well.
Second, children eventually grow up. They may temporarily leave home for school or permanently to establish their own families. At this stage, the consequences of neglecting the marriage often become evident. Many couples discover, too late, that they failed to build a sustainable marital bond while raising their children. Sadly, some marriages never recover from this avoidable mistake.
Psalm 128:3 [AMPC] says:
Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the innermost parts of your house; your children shall be like olive plants round about your table.
This verse reveals a clear order of priority. The wife—and by extension, the husband—is positioned at the centre of the home, while the children are described as surrounding the table. Simply put, even though children are very important in a marriage, the marriage comes before the children in terms of priority.
Dear Daddy and Mummy, always remember: life does not punish lack of effort; it punishes lack of priorities.
First, when spouses intentionally nurture their relationship—through love, respect, communication, and unity—they model healthy relationships and create a secure home for their children. When a marriage is neglected in the name of parenting, the very foundation children rely on is weakened. Prioritising the marriage is not choosing the couple over the children; it is choosing the most effective way to love, guide, and raise them well.
Second, children eventually grow up. They may temporarily leave home for school or permanently to establish their own families. At this stage, the consequences of neglecting the marriage often become evident. Many couples discover, too late, that they failed to build a sustainable marital bond while raising their children. Sadly, some marriages never recover from this avoidable mistake.
Psalm 128:3 [AMPC] says:
Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the innermost parts of your house; your children shall be like olive plants round about your table.
This verse reveals a clear order of priority. The wife—and by extension, the husband—is positioned at the centre of the home, while the children are described as surrounding the table. Simply put, even though children are very important in a marriage, the marriage comes before the children in terms of priority.
Dear Daddy and Mummy, always remember: life does not punish lack of effort; it punishes lack of priorities.