EP
61
Helpmeet Nugget
The Enemy Within
John & Matilda Joachim
·
January, 2026
Although marriage is a sacred union between a husband and a wife, it does not exist in isolation. There are other stakeholders who, intentionally or unintentionally, can influence the marriage. These may include family members such as in-laws, friends, and even fellow church members.
Learning how to establish and enforce healthy interface boundaries—boundaries that regulate external human influence—is essential to protecting the marital relationship from unhealthy interference. In addition to interface boundaries, it is equally important to enforce external boundaries. These are spiritual boundaries that guard the marriage against forces seeking to infiltrate and ultimately destroy the union.
However, contrary to popular belief, while interface and external boundaries are important, the most critical boundary in marriage is the boundary against self—internal boundary. Each individual enters marriage shaped by past experiences, present desires, and future aspirations. If these internal realities are not identified, examined, and realigned for the good of the marital union, self-centeredness begins to dictate behaviour. This is one of the primary reasons many marriages fail.
As Scripture reminds us:
James 4:1 (TPT)
What is the cause of your conflicts and quarrels with each other? Doesn't the battle begin inside of you as you fight to have your own way and fulfill your own desires?
Dear husband and wife, striving to enforce interface and external boundaries without first establishing the necessary internal boundaries is like fetching water in a basket—it is futile!
Never forget: it is the enemy within that gives the enemy without access.
Learning how to establish and enforce healthy interface boundaries—boundaries that regulate external human influence—is essential to protecting the marital relationship from unhealthy interference. In addition to interface boundaries, it is equally important to enforce external boundaries. These are spiritual boundaries that guard the marriage against forces seeking to infiltrate and ultimately destroy the union.
However, contrary to popular belief, while interface and external boundaries are important, the most critical boundary in marriage is the boundary against self—internal boundary. Each individual enters marriage shaped by past experiences, present desires, and future aspirations. If these internal realities are not identified, examined, and realigned for the good of the marital union, self-centeredness begins to dictate behaviour. This is one of the primary reasons many marriages fail.
As Scripture reminds us:
James 4:1 (TPT)
What is the cause of your conflicts and quarrels with each other? Doesn't the battle begin inside of you as you fight to have your own way and fulfill your own desires?
Dear husband and wife, striving to enforce interface and external boundaries without first establishing the necessary internal boundaries is like fetching water in a basket—it is futile!
Never forget: it is the enemy within that gives the enemy without access.