EP
60
Helpmeet Nugget
Understood Backwards
John & Matilda Joachim
·
January, 2026
According to God's divine standard, marriage is designed to be between a husband and a wife. After the wedding ceremony, many couples naturally focus on how life will unfold going forward. While this is important, there is a deeper and often overlooked truth that must not be ignored.
Both the husband and the wife are products of complex life processes—shaped by experiences, relationships, victories, wounds, and disappointments—that have moulded them into who they are today.
The implication is clear: without recognising, understanding, and appreciating the background that has shaped your spouse, dealing effectively with his or her weaknesses will be extremely difficult, if not impossible.
The Scriptures offer a powerful illustration of this truth:
John 4:16-18 [TPT]
[16] Jesus said, "Go get your husband and bring him back here."
[17] "But I'm not married," the woman answered. "That's true," Jesus said,
[18] "for you've been married five times, and now you're living with a man who is not your husband. You have told the truth."
This passage is one of many examples in the Bible that reveal how Jesus' effectiveness in dealing with people was deeply rooted in His understanding of their personal history. He ministered to people with the full awareness of where they were coming from.
Dear Husband and Wife, do not be interested only in the present and future of your spouse. Take time to understand how your spouse has evolved into the person he or she is today. Such understanding equips you to support, love, and walk with them more wisely in the present—and more faithfully into the future.
Always remember: life is lived forward, but it is understood backwards.
Both the husband and the wife are products of complex life processes—shaped by experiences, relationships, victories, wounds, and disappointments—that have moulded them into who they are today.
The implication is clear: without recognising, understanding, and appreciating the background that has shaped your spouse, dealing effectively with his or her weaknesses will be extremely difficult, if not impossible.
The Scriptures offer a powerful illustration of this truth:
John 4:16-18 [TPT]
[16] Jesus said, "Go get your husband and bring him back here."
[17] "But I'm not married," the woman answered. "That's true," Jesus said,
[18] "for you've been married five times, and now you're living with a man who is not your husband. You have told the truth."
This passage is one of many examples in the Bible that reveal how Jesus' effectiveness in dealing with people was deeply rooted in His understanding of their personal history. He ministered to people with the full awareness of where they were coming from.
Dear Husband and Wife, do not be interested only in the present and future of your spouse. Take time to understand how your spouse has evolved into the person he or she is today. Such understanding equips you to support, love, and walk with them more wisely in the present—and more faithfully into the future.
Always remember: life is lived forward, but it is understood backwards.